Your experiences always crack me up Westie.
Someone my brother used to work with went to Glasto one year. While there he had his tent, cash and railway ticket stolen while he was watching bands (only a right tit would wander around with his valuables hidden in a sock in his tent). Anyway he spent the rest of the weekend in the same clothes which didn't make much difference as he always stank really really badly of sweaty pits and nuts at the best of times.
Come going home time he started trying to hitch hike and struck lucky when 4 lads pulled over in a Golf and let him join them. Obviously within seconds of him climbing in the small car they realised he stank really really badly. Worst of all he's extremely dull and wibbled on about the mystic and music fanzine he edited which of course was made doubly painful for the other passengers because of his foul breath (his teeth were literally green). They decided to pull over pretty sharpish, forced him to undress down to his stained pants and left him at the side of the road. He wandered around for a while till he found a bin bag and put it over his head and pushing his head and arms through made himself a smock. He wandered like that for miles until he was picked up by the police who let him sleep at their station till morning.
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