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The reason I started this thread was because yesterday I accidentally turned into Nick Griffin. I was chatting with a colleague about someone's work (this other person happens to be black) and I mixed up my metaphores and said "she's not the full chocolate". I immediately went crimson and burbled on in the pathetic manner of someone who's trying too hard to prove they're not what they just appeared to be...

Come on, others must have put their foot in it? Nobody said "See what I mean?" to a blind person or "Need a hand?" to a thelidomide victim?

I noticed someone stood behind me in the pub when the screen was showing the football, I turned round and said 'can you see alright' and the poor guy was atleast semi blind. The thing is, I would have got away with it but my mates thought I meant it and started all pissing themselves.

Was seeing a girl once and her mum had teeth like tombstones, she could of eaten an apple through a tennis racket. She said to me she had just spent a few grand on an operation on them. Innocent me said 'Brilliant, when are you having them done', her reply 'No, I've just had them done' coupled with the saddest face I have borne witness to outside of ginger orphans at xmas.

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Life is what happens when you are busy making plans - John Winston Lennon

I may have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers - ?

I'm always putting my foot in it. Latest one is hiding to jump out on my boss. He caught me and said 'What are you doing?' I replied 'Waiting to jump on you.' I meant 'out on you' but it's amazing how omitting one word from a sentence can change it's entire meaning. He's been winking at me ever since, mwah. Also was cooking with a male friend once (rock and roll) and said 'Would you use a cock.' I meant 'Could you use a wok.' Heh, Freudian slips and all that. Teasy, that is 'ground open up and swallow me' time.

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Jarvis Cocker or David Bowie or AVB or Johnny Borrell, she isn't picky

Cavey Cocker, Cup Cake Queen, Saint Thomas.