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 Post subject: Lonely hearts
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 6:54 pm 
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Bola on the bongos
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Location: Camden
Can we do an indie lonely hearts, I am after a 16 to 30 year old lass with a good taste in music and films, witty, who I wont be embarassed to be seen with. Realised its been a while and the festivals are not far round the corner, dont want to go just with lads ever again.

I am 26 and still in control of all my bodily functions, live near sunny southend and work in camden. Any takers?, ladies only I am afraid pink gingham kid.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 7:24 pm 
How about me big boy

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 7:26 pm 
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Bola on the bongos
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Location: Camden
I dont have high ceilings in my place, I am worried I may burn my arse on the lightbulb. Plus I am low on flour to find the wet bits. Have you got any sisters?

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I may have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers - ?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 10:46 pm 
Teasy is this post for real? because it's breaking Cavey's heart - if I was under 30 and could behave myself in public and hadn't sold myself to a sheikh only weeks ago for a camel and 2 cigars I could've helped out lad. And don't you like Scissor sisters too? I'm sure Miss Dynamite has sisters... lord help the sister who comes between me and my mister* and lord help the mister* who comes between me and my man....quite. Never before have lyrics been so appropriate...

*replace with teasy


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 10:49 pm 
Ahem....that was meant to read Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sister and lord help the sister who comes between me and my man... :? Like anybody gives a shit. 5 Cavey bonus points if you can name the musical that's from...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 11:00 pm 
You're in luck Mr Tease. I have twin sisters.

Image

Or will my mother do?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 11:06 pm 
I'd opt for the mother tease - she looks like a goer :wink: And she's got the experience...
Mother: (in gummy voice) Come here young man, I don't bite...well I can't because i've got no teeth so i'm really good at sucking things...

Right i'm stopping now because that's smutty and if age concern are reading i'm in trouble - and i can't edit...

May I just say this forum is very smutty today and I think you all need a good scrub because you're all very dirty.....


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 11:19 pm 
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Mute with Roland who avoids eye contact
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Ms Dynamite wrote:
How about me big boy

Image


Wahey! Oops, where's me screen wipes.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 2:34 am 
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Bola on the bongos
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Thats a big a wilter as thinking about laying under a glass coffee table while maggie thatcher and jo brand share some brown love above me.
Yes the post was serious to a point. Not desperate but willing to throw caution to the wind. Went on one blind date off the internet that was so awful though. It was the girl in the pic she had sent but it was clearly the only good face day she had ever had, she ate a kebab out of the dish like it was a trough, urrgggh, nightmares still.

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Life is what happens when you are busy making plans - John Winston Lennon

I may have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers - ?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 2:38 am 
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cRaZy cat with the bongos
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TAKE1TEASY wrote:
she ate a kebab out of the dish like it was a trough, urrgggh, nightmares still.


Seriously, though - you took a girl for a kebab on a first date?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 10:45 am 
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Fella in codpiece with curly mullet
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Location: Legra, Ēastseaxe
Fernando wrote:
Seriously, though - you took a girl for a kebab on a first date?


:lol: :lol:

He had lined up the Wimpey for the second! Mind you as he is looking for someone as young as 16 he could try hanging around the arcades on Southend's sea front :wink: :twisted:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 12:32 pm 
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Bola on the bongos
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Location: Camden
Her choice, if I told you the full story it just gets grimmer.

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Life is what happens when you are busy making plans - John Winston Lennon

I may have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers - ?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 12:33 pm 
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Bola on the bongos
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Location: Camden
16 is only immoral not illegal

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Life is what happens when you are busy making plans - John Winston Lennon

I may have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers - ?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 5:13 pm 
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Wurzel's moth felcher
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Fernando wrote:
TAKE1TEASY wrote:
she ate a kebab out of the dish like it was a trough, urrgggh, nightmares still.


Seriously, though - you took a girl for a kebab on a first date?


Could be worse... my git of a housemate were bantering away last night about how he was gonna woo this French lass by taking her to a Rooster gig... now I don't know a lot about women but jay-sus...

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 9:35 pm 
Caveyy wrote:
I'd opt for the mother tease - she looks like a goer :wink: And she's got the experience....


Yeah, but if she's given birth to those three she'd have a fanny like the Blackwall Tunnel :shock:

I'll get me coat :oops:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 9:55 pm 
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Drunken mustachioed lothario on stage
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Location: Wild and devil-may-care on the last mobility scooter to hell... YEAH!!!!
Honey wrote:
Caveyy wrote:
I'd opt for the mother tease - she looks like a goer :wink: And she's got the experience....


Yeah, but if she's given birth to those three she'd have a fanny like the Blackwall Tunnel :shock:

I'll get me coat :oops:


Hmmm... will our American chums erm read this the wrong way, so to speak...? :shock:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 9:57 pm 
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Axe Wielding Maniac

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Bovine Juice wrote:
Hmmm... will our American chums erm read this the wrong way, so to speak...? :shock:


No. I know that "fanny" means a chick's pussy in the UK.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2005 12:12 am 
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Axe Wielding Maniac
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Location: London
Indeed, ViF knows the difference between UK front parking (NB you cannot usually park in a park without a season ticket) and, er, rear parking...

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2005 12:14 am 
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...obviously one of those linguistic differences that made St Oscar a little queer...

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2005 2:03 am 
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Milchman's man milkmaid
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Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2004 5:47 pm
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Honey wrote:
Caveyy wrote:
I'd opt for the mother tease - she looks like a goer :wink: And she's got the experience....


Yeah, but if she's given birth to those three she'd have a fanny like the Blackwall Tunnel :shock:


Chimes in unadulerated filth shocker....it'll only be the once, I've just been waiting for an excuse to use this one;


Shagging her would be like waving a cotton bud around in the Mersey tunnel.

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