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| most illogical https://www.soundsxp.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=6144 |
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| Author: | Johnny Anarchy [ Wed Nov 02, 2005 6:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | most illogical |
Does anyone remember that Simon Singh the scientist took Katie Melua to task for her incorrect scientific references in her song ‘8 million bicycles’ (a reference to the approximate number of bi-wheeled personal transportation devices in Beijing)? Well, I’m getting very fucked off by the Darkness. I normally find their camp metal tedious but not offensive but I despise their new single with a passion for demolishing Hawkins’ poodle-haired excuse for a face. Apart from ripping off ‘Since You’ve Been Gone’ (again), it makes as little sense as Justin Dork-ins revealing his flappy cockless frame in that leotard. “I’ve got a one way ticket to hell and back” he sings. Doesn’t he know that a one-way ticket gets you to hell and no further? If he’s got a ticket back, he has a return ticket so what’s wrong with singing about “day return ticket to hell and back, calling at limbo, purgatory and all stations between”? I propose never to listen to a Darkness record again until Hawkins’ songs make logical sense. |
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| Author: | Moham Ed [ Wed Nov 02, 2005 6:40 pm ] |
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Aaaah, very valid point, but if I was to be pedantic (& I usually am) that godawful Katie M song is 9 million bicycles... not 8! |
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| Author: | Roseability [ Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:03 pm ] |
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| Author: | Captain Howdy [ Wed Nov 02, 2005 9:57 pm ] |
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| Author: | Enid Coleslaw [ Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:57 am ] |
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| Author: | Captain Howdy [ Thu Nov 03, 2005 1:04 am ] |
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| Author: | dookerdoo [ Thu Nov 03, 2005 11:28 am ] |
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i remember stuart maconie getting brilliantly annoyed on some radio show by that "loony bad grammar" song, un-break my heart in the nineties. toni braxton it was i believe. i remember him proposing "un-lend me a tenner" or "un-punch me in the face" as suitable follow up singles. 
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| Author: | dookerdoo [ Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:10 pm ] |
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also in my teen days there was a shitty alice in chains/pearl jam side-project band called mad season who had a lyric that went "in recovery from a fatal disease". that used to annoy me. you don't recover from fatal diseases. if you do they're not fatal. that oasis song that went "how does it feel like?" that was quite annoying. and don't even get me started on this car crash of tautology and bad grammar: "mars aint the kind of place to raise a kid, in fact it's cold as hell, and there's no one there to raise them, if you did" 
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| Author: | Westie [ Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:21 pm ] |
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I think when you're talking license for lyrical dubiousness you gotta start with Dylan. "It ain't me, babe. No, no, no, it ain't me, babe, it ain't me you're looking for, babe" What's with that phantom last "babe"? "And it ain't no use in turning on your light babe, The light that I never knowed ('nuff said...) And it ain't no use in turning on your light babe, I'm on the dark side of the road" Surely if Bob is on the dark side of the road, then this ex-girlfriend in question would be well advised to slam a light on eh? Jaysus... |
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| Author: | Johnny Anarchy [ Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:30 pm ] |
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| Author: | dookerdoo [ Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:30 pm ] |
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| Author: | Westie [ Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:33 pm ] |
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| Author: | dookerdoo [ Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:36 pm ] |
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| Author: | Westie [ Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:48 pm ] |
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| Author: | jimgibb [ Thu Nov 03, 2005 3:33 pm ] |
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actually mr singh was referring to this We are 12 billion light-years from the edge, That's a guess, No one can ever say it's true, But I know that I will always be with you. and replied When Katie sings "We are 12 billion light-years from the edge", she is suggesting that this is the distance to the edge of the observable universe, which in turn implies that the universe is only 12 billion years old. This is incredibly frustrating, because there are thousands of astronomers working day and (of course) night to measure the age of the universe, and the latest observations imply a universe that is almost 14 billion years old, not 12 billion. I suspect that Katie took some poetic licence in order to make her lyrics scan. She replaced the bisyllabic number "14" with the nearest monosyllabic number, namely 12". This alteration is just about acceptable, but the next line in the song is unforgivable. To say that the age of the universe is "a guess" is an insult to a century of astronomical progress. The age of the universe is not just "a guess", but rather it is a carefully measured number that is now known to a high degree of accuracy. As soon as the idea of the Big Bang was proposed in the 1920s, astronomers set about trying to work out when the bang happened. Initial estimates were, not surprisingly, wildly inaccurate, but by the 1980s it was known that the universe was 15 billion years old, give or take 5 billion years. Today, the very latest data implies that the age of the universe is precisely 13.7 billion years. This is an astonishing result, because astronomers are giving the first decimal place in their estimate of the age of the universe, implying a hitherto unheard-of level of confidence in their measurements. We are entering a new era of so-called precision cosmology. In short, Katie Melua has no right to call the age of the universe "a guess" or quote it as 12 billion years when we now know it to be 13.7 billion years old. You might think that I am being rather uptight, but the role of the scientist is slowly being undermined with a growing belief that scientific results are merely subjective guesses that go in and out of fashion. In fact, scientific results are a careful attempt to objectively measure reality, and although they may be refined over time, they are always our best hope of getting at the truth. In light of this, I propose that Miss Melua rewrite her opening verse so that it reads: We are 13.7 billion light-years from the edge of the observable universe, That's a good estimate with well-defined error bars, Scientists say it's true, but acknowledge that it may be refined, And with the available information, I predict that I will always be with you c+p from the grauniad |
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| Author: | Tony Tourette [ Thu Nov 03, 2005 9:51 pm ] |
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dang, thought this was going to be a thread about Leonard ("Don't call me Spock!") Nimoy's song, er, 'Highly Illogical'. But no. Does this Melua girl have a thing about figures? Apparently she got the 8 (or is it 9) million bicycles in Beijing from her tour guide. Great research. What next, 8 million taxis in Tokyo? 20 million rickshaws in Rangoon? 1 surfboard in Southend? And while I'm here, is Alanis Morrissette's 'Ironic', illogical or just plain wrong? Does irony mean 'rain on your wedding day'? No, just bad luck. Or getting a 'free ride when you already paid'? Why would you get a free ride if you already paid? Wouldn't you get your money back if it's free? But it ain't ironic, just er, bad luck. Or just lyrical drivel. |
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| Author: | Captain Howdy [ Thu Nov 03, 2005 11:42 pm ] |
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Comedians (ie, lazy comedy slags) have built whole careers around lambasting Morrissette's flimsy grasp of irony, but, to be fair, it's a difficult concept to nail down completely. The best definition I ever read was in the excellent Fowler's Modern Usage - and that's not so much a definition as a short essay. Annoying pop syntax: I give you Abba in their debut hit, Waterloo: "Oh yes, at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender." They've taken the unobjectionable proposition "Napoleon surrendered at Waterloo" and - in an effort to make it fit their melody - mangled it so that it sounds like the singer's just learnt the surprising news that (contrary to popular opinion) Napoleon surrendered at Waterloo rather than defeating Wellington and his European allies. |
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