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Oh Crikey
Yes, in these times of Aids, herpes and ringrust we at soundsxp know that whilst we all
like to party hard, we also need to be aware of the consequences of our actions. We
need to remain disciplined, square rumped and thoroughly guarded in the face of danger.Too Much Lead In Your Pencil?
But that's not all, as teenage pregnancies go through the
ceiling we also have to protect against those unnecessary inconveniences of getting up the
sprout outside of Matlock. Fortunately help is at hand in the shape of the ultimate
in safe sex, prophylactics that look like all your least favourite pop rockers. Yes
we have joined forces with those purveyors of quality tosh, Franklin Munt and those
manufacturers of Swiss cheese-like contraceptives, the Lewisham Rubber Company.
Stick one of our Rock Star rubbers on your one eyed snake and we guarantee you won't get
within 20 yards of any chuff or muff action. They come in a variety of odious styles
including Sting, Bono, Lemmy, the Rik Waller (for those who can swing their John Thomas
over their shoulder) and the Kelly Stereophonic (for those blessed with little more than a
pickled walnut).
[Note to sub editor - Why have you shown a picture of a
pencil top, you tit? It's a rubber johnny! Sort it out or you're back cleaning
the toilets!] |
