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Bovine Juice
PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 1:30 pm 
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Some PR notes are works of art far superior to the shoddy acts they push. Some just get your back up and make you hate the band immediately.

Here's the opening para for one I just received:

Quote:
Electrifying electropunk upstarts Robot Disaster are currently blazing through the indie scene with striking style, like a turbo charged
bowling ball scattering their wooden peers into the gutter.


I guess it's not the PA's fault. How do you sell an electropunk band, surely the most talentless subgenre of music in existence. And just in case you didn't realise they were 'electropunk', the name Robot Distaster nails their taste firmly to the crumbling wall.

Here they are:

Image

£60 freestyle haircuts from Hoxton, one and all.

Grrr!! Burn the kids!!!!
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Thee SPC
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 2:12 pm 
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I hate writing PRs. Necessary evil & all that, though. Still at least I believe in the bands I'm writing them for. There must be loads that are trotted out by PR companies where the author thinks "god this is a load of old wank."

"We're tired of indie bands doing the same old rubbish" = Oasis clone

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Simon Los Love
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 2:31 pm 
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I write The Loves press releases & most of them are all lies.

The best one I've ever seen was for an early solo Darren Hayman EP which was "No-one reads press releases" over & over again like from The Shining.

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Thee SPC
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 4:56 pm 
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My personal fave:

Quote:
Half Man Half Biscuit’s ’nth album offers no departure whatsoever from their rather formulaic brand of tuneless caterwaul and whilst this "mostly filler no killer" approach might appease the already committed fan, it is unlikely to attract any new friends. Somewhat inevitably, there is no myspace page to ’check out’.

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Bovine Juice
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 4:58 pm 
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Brilliant. Now that's a press release! Obviously the joke would be missed by those who never manned the barricades at Pippin Fort!
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Thee SPC
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 5:23 pm 
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Coincidentally, Joe from Angular just posted this gem on facebook:

Quote:
Just got sent a press release for a band called 'Francis' containing this quote: "To say that you know what Francis is about without having experienced them face to face is like saying that you've had sexual intercourse when you actually only have seen porn".


Eww!

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Fernando
PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 7:41 pm 
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Bovine Juice wrote:
How do you sell an electropunk band, surely the most talentless subgenre of music in existence. And just in case you didn't realise they were 'electropunk', the name Robot Distaster nails their taste firmly to the crumbling wall.


I actually think your typo "Robot Distaster" is more appropriate than their actual name. (Inadvertent) Bravo!

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SPT
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 7:50 pm 
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The Vichy Government did a fucking terrible one for White Elephant. All cunty poseur "we hate you and aren't interested in your views anway" - a position somewhat belied by the number of review copies desperately sent out.

Somewhat surprisingly, the album was really good...

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delia
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 10:07 pm 
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and excellent website masterminded by miss adie nunn glorying in some of the worst of press releases...

http://www.shutupbands.com/
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Bloodflowerbill
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 4:06 am 
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This guy does a site too, but some of it's just him being a pedantic cock as much as the releases being dire/unintentionally funny...
http://lostintheshowbiz.blogspot.com/
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Vodka-Volauvent
PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 4:59 pm 
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Bovine Juice wrote:

Image

£60 freestyle haircuts from Hoxton, one and all.



they look more like dull try hards from Camden.

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PoisonIvy
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 4:17 pm 
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I've tried the not-bothering-with-a-press-release route. "Hi so-and-so, can you have a listen to this and let me know what you think?" Basic info, like band name, single coming up, gig near you, with a link to a youtube video, mp3, or myspace page.

The response?

"Got a press release?"

Every. Single. Time.
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He Who Hears Horses
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 7:12 pm 
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The only purpose of the press release is to legitimize the art you're offering forward via the use of other people's opinions.

The higher up the pyramid of influence the positive opinion (quote within the press release) comes from, the more time you'll be given by the recipient and the more likely they'll be subconsciously bullied into following suite and repeating the action of their peer who was quoted in your desperate PR bleatings.

In short - 'They like it, and they're a successful magazine/label/blog/webzine etc, thus, we must like it'. And that's how it works.

The whole notion of a press release is an acknowledgement of the failure of independent thought within the music industry.

The most meaningful reactions a band can ever get are their very first ones, when they (hopefully) have no influence, no industry profile and no one's opinion to influence listeners.

Don't blame bands of naive, wet behind the ears, 20something boys for the embarrassing, needy pleas they make to the industry - blame those who came before them and allowed this process to become established as the acceptable norm!

Of course there are plenty of blogs and webzines (and occasionally record labels...but NEVER magazines/TV) who don't give a fuck about their peer's opinions and to whom a press release filled with quotes from influential media matters not one bit. These rare bastions should be applauded, as they are the only true friend a music listener or performer has within the industry.
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Vodka-Volauvent
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:24 pm 
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I just came across Envelopes' biography/press release on Last Fm; it's one of the most lovely things of that nature I've ever read. It's such a shame they're so overlooked. I bought 'Here Comes The Wind', played it to death and fully expected to see it in the top of all 'end of year' polls, but I guess due to the fact the record label had totally run out of money, there was no money for promotion and the album just got swept under the carpet.

Anyway, here it is, give it a read: http://www.last.fm/music/Envelopes/+wiki

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Thee SPC
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 1:06 pm 
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He Who Hears Horses wrote:
The only purpose of the press release is to legitimize the art you're offering forward via the use of other people's opinions.

The higher up the pyramid of influence the positive opinion (quote within the press release) comes from, the more time you'll be given by the recipient and the more likely they'll be subconsciously bullied into following suite and repeating the action of their peer who was quoted in your desperate PR bleatings.



So true! One of my recent releases was called album of the week by Steve Lamacq so I plastered that all over the PR & got loads of reviews. I usually get about 3 (and thanks SoundsXP for always coming through for me.)

"It's a shit business."

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Bovine Juice
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 3:57 pm 
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Image

Actually I don't blame the PA for this band. They're just wrong, period.

Quote:
Imperial Vengeance is a British extreme metal act formed in 2007 by C. Edward Alexander (Vocals, Guitars and Orchestration) and David Bryan (Bass, Lyrics). in an attempt to explore ideas and material firmly rooted in the glory days of the British Empire and presenting a wide range of subjects influenced by its’ colourful social and military histories, theatre, literature and mythologies.


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Johnny Anarchy
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 4:24 pm 
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That’s so wrong on so many levels from the proof reading to the very sensitive flag and soldiery imagery but what really nails it are the costumes. The guy second right out-camps Rob Halford while the token woman on the left looks like a barkeeper in a Carry On film. It wouldn’t surprise me if they played YMCA on their Flying Vs. Elsewhere, some bloke is taking credit for a great marketing strategy…

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FlacidCasual
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 6:39 pm 
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZGB7_qH ... r_embedded

heh heh...I was enjoying it til the twat started singing.
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Vodka-Volauvent
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:11 pm 
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FlacidCasual wrote:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZGB7_qH104&feature=player_embedded

heh heh...I was enjoying it til the twat started singing.


ha! that reminds me of the Pirate Metal dudes Ale Storm! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ta-Z_psX ... re=related

"with a bottle of rum and a yo ho ho"

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Bovine Juice
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:25 pm 
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Hehe, borderline genius. I've always been partial to a bit of folky mayhem. Here's Poole's finest Pronghorn MASSACRING Pugwash
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