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Sadly V-Vs splendid whiskers were probably deemed too sensible to win. Looking at the idiots I'm not surprised his face funghus didn't win the pot.

I love the full beard freestyle category. Can't wait to see your diamond encrusted tasche, Beanie

By terrible strange twist of fate when I entered the office yesterday morning there were two tickets to brighton on the digital resources librarian's desk just staring at me. The time for them was 10.57 - I wanted to take the tickets and run but unfortunately I was born honest and trustworthy. I have no idea why they were there and cannot ask until Tuesday but boy, did they rub it in.

In actual fact I've kind of gone off facial hair..i'm liking clean shaven now with extremely big noses but feel some kind of forced alliance now to hairy folk.

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Jarvis Cocker or David Bowie or AVB or Johnny Borrell, she isn't picky

Cavey Cocker, Cup Cake Queen, Saint Thomas.

Squelching?

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Jarvis Cocker or David Bowie or AVB or Johnny Borrell, she isn't picky

Cavey Cocker, Cup Cake Queen, Saint Thomas.

I have no idea what you're talking about but I must conclude that it's sexual. I said I like clean shaven, big conks - I didn't say i'd sex them up. If you're talking about sex...if you're talking about saucemongers, nay ye mind.

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Jarvis Cocker or David Bowie or AVB or Johnny Borrell, she isn't picky

Cavey Cocker, Cup Cake Queen, Saint Thomas.

Well this has to be the worst foreplay ever. I don't want you to sex up my nose. I could drown for a start.

My new boy was at the beard show, getting drunk, kissing men and high-fiving Jesus, while I was being pushed around Asda in a wheelchair. Some of the photos he took were fricking hilarious.

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Is there a pessimism of the strong?..a way of suffering from the very fullness of life, a courage of the keenest sight which demands what is terrible, like an enemy against which it can test its power, from which it will learn what it means to fear?

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Jarvis Cocker or David Bowie or AVB or Johnny Borrell, she isn't picky

Cavey Cocker, Cup Cake Queen, Saint Thomas.

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I made my mind up back in Chelsea, when I go I'm going like Elsie

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Is there a pessimism of the strong?..a way of suffering from the very fullness of life, a courage of the keenest sight which demands what is terrible, like an enemy against which it can test its power, from which it will learn what it means to fear?

It was such a great day I don't even know where to begin!!

VV got whisked off for photos within minutes of us getting there despite not being a contestant, he even ended up being filmed by some French bloke doing a documentary.

I've attempted to post a couple of my favourite pics here. But I'm rubbish at this malarkey so I don't know if it's worked.

I'm growing a beard as we speak.... 2 weeks of solid growth to date

I'm attempting a Russel Crowe type look (rugged, manly, rescues small kittens) but I fear its still very "concentration camp victim" chic at the moment

's the story on RealBrighton - 142 photos!

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Is there a pessimism of the strong?..a way of suffering from the very fullness of life, a courage of the keenest sight which demands what is terrible, like an enemy against which it can test its power, from which it will learn what it means to fear?

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Jarvis Cocker or David Bowie or AVB or Johnny Borrell, she isn't picky

Cavey Cocker, Cup Cake Queen, Saint Thomas.

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Looks like Elijah Wood. Supports Liverpool. Likes Coldplay.

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Life's But A Walking Shadow