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I've led a relatively injury-free life, but my mate Chris May once decided to climb the drainpipe of a big house one night after a few beers. He got as far as the second floor before falling off straight onto the gravel drive-way. The rest of us gasped and starting wondering whether to leg it or call an ambulance. But Chris got shakily to his feet, rubbed his backside, said "ow, my arse!" and rejoined the group.

NYE 2000. Me and a few mates had gone up to a posh part of Sheffield where someones girlfreind ran a bar there. About 11:59 stood outside, looking at the firewiorks going off and a lad called Tom (who was chemically a little the worse for wear) decides to usher in the new millenium in a rather special way.
So he strips, completely. Then shouts ''Watch this! I'm going to slide on that bit of ice over there!''. Our thoughts: ''What ice?''. After running about 20ft at full pelt, he jumps in the air and lands on his arse. The ice turns out to be normal, if a little shiny, gravel. Lots of blood, Tom pointing at his rear and going ''Owww...'' .
Best bit was that this was right next to a very old church and the lovely Christians there had popped out bang on 12. I distinctly remember one mother doing the classic ''Hand over childs eyes''pose.

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"Baby, don't make the Egyptian Lover come in there and show you what time it is"

Hehe.

Best 'mate' story I got is probably the time when we all left a club in the pissing rain and tried to get in this taxi. However this bloke nabbed it before us, much to the disgruntlement of my mate (shitfaced and ready for a fight) who decided to go at him fist first. The other ol' boy blocked and dived in the taxi and sped off. My mate got so pissed off because he hadn't beaten the guy up (he's like that) that he took out his frustration on the nearby bus-stop and ended up smashing a bone in his hand. He then precedes to stagger drunkenly to the hospital and upon arrival slips on the wet tiled floor, goes arse over tit and smashes his head on the floor and knocks himself out... He says all he can remember is waking up dazed on the floor with 5 nurses around him all pissing themselves...

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Looks like Elijah Wood. Supports Liverpool. Likes Coldplay.

Ouch - you weren''t up by the Ranmoor Inn by any chance?

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Pukka Pie pest

Embrace the margin
Always Changing at Retford http://sptxx.tumblr.com/
Not Changing at Retford http://sptxx2.tumblr.com/

Oh, and can't believe I forgot the time when I was taking a slash halfway back to the taxi rank by Northampton Bus Station after a reeeeeeeeally big night and I staggered mid flow and stacked it down the embankment I was pissing over and smashed me head on a brick at the bottom. I emerge a few minutes later covered in piss and grass with blood streaming out of this gash in me head. Still got a little scar from that actually...

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Looks like Elijah Wood. Supports Liverpool. Likes Coldplay.

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"Baby, don't make the Egyptian Lover come in there and show you what time it is"

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Pukka Pie pest

Embrace the margin
Always Changing at Retford http://sptxx.tumblr.com/
Not Changing at Retford http://sptxx2.tumblr.com/