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 Post subject: Worst lyrics ever
PostPosted: Sun Jun 20, 2004 5:18 pm 
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Ok I've risen to the task (oooh err) set by Cavey. What are the worst ever lyrics?

I'll kick off with Buck Rogers by Feeder:

"We'll start over again
Grow ourselves new skin
Get a house in Devon
Drink cider from a lemon"

Right, what else? *waits for the anti-Sting queue to form*

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 20, 2004 6:24 pm 
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From a Darling Buds b-side:

"remember remember the 5th of November
the sky lit up and so did we"

PUKE.................

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 20, 2004 6:26 pm 
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As mighty as the Mozz is, he was respsonible for deplorable chorus of 'Dagenham Dave' that goes
"Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Dagenham, Dagenham
Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Dagenham, Dagenham Dave
Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Oh, Dave, oh, Dagenham, dagenham
Dagenham Dave
Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Oh, Dave, oh, Dave, oh, Dave
Oh, Dave".
Genius? Makes The Stranglers' song of the same sound like Shakespearo (as they would have it ) poetry. He might have been ironic of course. Like Alanis Morrisseyette's "Like rain on your wedding day", uh? That's ironic is it? Moronic drivel more like. :evil:

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 20, 2004 6:31 pm 
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oh, New Order's "Tonight I should have stayed at home/Playing with my pleasure zone" uh? you mean "Tonight I should have gone to bed/With some baby oil and masturbay-ted"? Absolute wank :wink:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 20, 2004 6:35 pm 
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Location: Wild and devil-may-care on the last mobility scooter to hell... YEAH!!!!
Aah Sting...

and his sensitive attempt to resolve the problems in Northern Ireland with the Police's Invisible Sun:

"I face the day with me head caved in
Looking like something that the cat brought in"

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 Post subject: Re: Worst lyrics ever
PostPosted: Sun Jun 20, 2004 7:12 pm 
Bovine Juice wrote:
Ok I've risen to the task (oooh err) set by Cavey. What are the worst ever lyrics?

I'll kick off with Buck Rogers by Feeder:

"We'll start over again
Grow ourselves new skin
Get a house in Devon
Drink cider from a lemon"

Right, what else? *waits for the anti-Sting queue to form*


You can't let the Buck Rogers lyrics lie Sir can you? :wink:
I'm a great fan of Blondie but the Rapture lyrics have to be called into question - it all goes so well until the man from Mars enters the scene and starts eating bars, cars and guitars :? I can suspend belief Debbie but not that much - great tune still though. :D


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 Post subject: Re: Worst lyrics ever
PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2004 11:10 am 
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cRaZy cat with the bongos

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Cavey wrote:
Bovine Juice wrote:
Ok I've risen to the task (oooh err) set by Cavey. What are the worst ever lyrics?

I'll kick off with Buck Rogers by Feeder:

"We'll start over again
Grow ourselves new skin
Get a house in Devon
Drink cider from a lemon"



You can't let the Buck Rogers lyrics lie Sir can you? :wink:


No, and nor should he. It's a fucking abomination of a song. If I'd been partly responsible I think I'd have fucking topped myself as well. :twisted:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2004 12:36 pm 
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Mosh Monster
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'You gotta roll with it,
You gotta take your time,
Tou gotta say what you say
dont let anyone get in your way...'

Fuck me, he's been reading Nietzsche again hasn't he?
A searing dissection of the modern psyche. And wearing big parkas.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2004 5:20 pm 
I think worst lyric goes to this song. And before you ask, YES, I did copy and paste this and NO, I don't know this off by heart.

The 'genius' that is Dapne and Celeste's 'Ooh, Stick You' goes;

"Your mama, your daddy, your greasy, greasy grandmammy
You got a hole in your panty, got a big behind like Frankenstein
Going beep-beep-beep down Sesame Street
Toot-toot-toot wear army boots
In your ear with a can of beer, up your butt with a coconut
OOOHHHH! You go girl! Eeeehhhhhhh! Oooooohhhhh! Aye!"

.....................(It gets worse)

"You got facial hair like a polar bear
You blow up like a toad and then explode
Your face looks mean like Halloween
You got big red eyes like cherry pies
You got the IQ of a digeridoo
You look insane and got no brain
You got a big fat belly like a bowl full of jelly
Your fat mum Milly looks like Free Willy"

.........................(Then there's a really strange bit that goes)

"You go girl! Ride 'em cowboy! Yee-ha! Giddy up horsey! Ride 'em cowboy!
Pugh! Pugh! Pugh! It’s like a horror movie isn't it? Oohh! Ride 'em cowboy!
Ooh Ooh Eee! Ride 'em cowboy! Do you wanna know what I really think about you?"

...........................(Briliant, right? No.)

"You're a little kid that looks like a squid- oh no!
You've got a bad perm like a can of worms- oh no!
Cheeks like a balloon ; face like a baboon- oh no!
Everybody knows you eat the nails from your toes & you rub 'em in dirt and eat them for dessert!
You got ears on your face like spock in space!
You got teeth in your head like Mr Ed!
Everybody knows you put fleas in cheese, mix them with glue and use it like shampoo!"

................(Then there's my favourite bit)

"Why am I saying ping-pong? Ping-pong Ping-pong Ping-pong!
Whatever whatever whatever!"

Yeah, whatever. And they wonder why the got attacked with bottles of piss at Reading.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2004 5:26 pm 
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: They got away lightly in Reading :twisted: Unless of course Tim the lyrics are so crap that they are actually the work of a genius but it's lost on us? :?

'Got a big behind like Frankenstein'? - now do these kids realise that's the inventor and not the monster? - because there's nothing wrong with Kenneth Brannagh's Butt - mmmmmmmmm...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2004 5:35 pm 
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Whilst I admit that the lyrics are, ahem, dodgy, I would like to defend Daphne and Celeste. It's a great, big, dumb pop record - no more, no less. I think someone may have already raised the point that great pop records don't really count - it's when so-called serious musicians churn out shite that they deserve a kicking.

Step forward my own personal 'favourite', Travis' dreadful 'Driftwood':

"Everywhere there's trouble
Nowhere's safe to go
Pushes turn to shovel's
Shovelling the snow"

You fucking what??? :shock: :? :roll:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2004 5:41 pm 
Ah, but Driftwood has the great line "Pillars turn to Butter, Butterflying low." I'm not a fan of Travis, personally, but 'The Man Who' has some great stuff on it.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2004 5:43 pm 
Well they are from Scotland Enid - and it snows a plenty up there let me tell you - :? - I loved 'Flowers in the window' by Travis but half the time I couldn't tell you what he was going on about - sometimes the tune is so good they get away with it - so many times i've sung along to songs, then bought the album and read the lyrics and said - 'You what?! - my lyrics were far better than that'


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2004 5:53 pm 
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cRaZy cat with the bongos

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Cavey wrote:
so many times i've sung along to songs, then bought the album and read the lyrics and said - 'You what?! - my lyrics were far better than that'


Yes, my version of Prefab Sprout's 'King Of Rock And Roll' featuring the chorus "hot dog, jumping frog, I want cookies" was vastly superior :) :oops:


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2004 6:39 pm 
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Let me end this thread here and now with the most dreadful lyric ever commited to record..........

"I'm as serious as cancer,
when I say rhythm is a dancer" :oops:

from the genius's know as Snap...... :lol:

Here endeth the lesson......

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2004 6:58 pm 
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Location: Wild and devil-may-care on the last mobility scooter to hell... YEAH!!!!
You're right of course, the casebook should be closed right there and then but the thread's fun so I'll go back to Travis, raised by our troglike chum. I agree, for a while at least they did know how to write a pleasant little tune but they should have been shot for their appalling filling of space between notes:

"If we turn turn turn turn turn
And if we turn turn turn turn
Then we might learn
Turn turn turn turn
Turn turn turn
And if we turn turn turn turn"... Ok Fran we get the idea, you think we should turn, yeah?...

"Na na na
But if you sing, sing, sing, sing sing
For the love you bring won’t mean a thing
Unless you sing, sing, sing"...

ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

:roll:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2004 8:06 pm 
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No No, No No No, No No Yes (sorry Vicar of Dibley Pun) No Limits!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2004 10:18 am 
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Probably the worst lyrics in the world

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2004 10:52 am 
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Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go shawty
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a fuck
It's not your birthday!

It gets worse too :?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2004 2:25 pm 
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The other worst lyrics in the world are, of course, lovingly deconstructed by Mr Cartwright (I believe) elsewhere in the site's archives

The Truth

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