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Great comedy one-liners

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Bovine Juice

Post subject: Great comedy one-liners

Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 11:34 am

Drunken mustachioed lothario on stage

Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2003 2:52 pm
Posts: 14708
Location: Wild and devil-may-care on the last mobility scooter to hell... YEAH!!!!

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Cavey

Post subject:

Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 12:07 pm

Cocker's trouser zip fiddler

Joined: Fri Jul 23, 2004 1:02 am
Posts: 3816
Location: In lust. In trouble.

_________________
Jarvis Cocker or David Bowie or AVB or Johnny Borrell, she isn't picky

Cavey Cocker, Cup Cake Queen, Saint Thomas.

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Bovine Juice

Post subject:

Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 12:16 pm

Drunken mustachioed lothario on stage

Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2003 2:52 pm
Posts: 14708
Location: Wild and devil-may-care on the last mobility scooter to hell... YEAH!!!!

This poll, cavey...

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Captain Howdy

Post subject:

Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 4:49 pm

Chutney ferret with lazy eye

Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2005 8:41 pm
Posts: 1653
Location: Coventry

Sideshow Bob (I think): why do you have so many enemies?
Homer: I'm a people person... who drinks.

Stewart Lee: the only possible explanation for Gary Linekar advertising crisps is that he's sexually aroused by the thought of obese children dying.

Shelly: Of course some people survive smoking; some people survived the First World War, but that's no reason to hold a mustard gas party, is it?

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Chimes

Post subject:

Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:28 pm

Milchman's man milkmaid

Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2004 5:47 pm
Posts: 1251
Location: London

I know it's not really a one-liner, but..

Alan Partridge; 'Dan!Dan!Dan!Dan!Dan!...Dan!Dan!Dan!.......Dan!Dan!Dan!Dan!....I'll talk to him later.......Dan!Dan!Dan!Dan!Dan!Dan!Dan!'

_________________
sometimes I write things....

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Bovine Juice

Post subject:

Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:33 pm

Drunken mustachioed lothario on stage

Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2003 2:52 pm
Posts: 14708
Location: Wild and devil-may-care on the last mobility scooter to hell... YEAH!!!!

Actually the more I think about it the less I can come up with great one liners. Their like disappeared with the Carry On Team, Hancock, etc. Most great comedy's character/scenario based.

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matt611

Post subject:

Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:37 pm

Rock n Roll God

Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2005 12:36 pm
Posts: 1110
Location: 'norf London

DAN!.. DAN!.. DAN!..

I don't think he's heard me...

DAN!!!

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Bovine Juice

Post subject:

Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:59 pm

Drunken mustachioed lothario on stage

Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2003 2:52 pm
Posts: 14708
Location: Wild and devil-may-care on the last mobility scooter to hell... YEAH!!!!

My favourite Partridge from his spin-off show was the scene when he was trying impress the Head of Light Entertainment at BBC2 and he lists off these desperate ideas for shows featuring him, culminating in "monkey tennis"... and followed by the immortal "Smell my cheese, you mother!"...

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matt611

Post subject:

Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 6:30 pm

Rock n Roll God

Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2005 12:36 pm
Posts: 1110
Location: 'norf London

There’s a whole site somewhere dedicated to potential new AP show pitches based on that sketch .. My two favourites are:

"Alcoholics Eponymous": Alan travels the country interviewing recovering alcoholics who share a name with their favourite tipple: First episode: Rob Bells, from Cleethorpes, and Majorie Beer from Hemel Hampstead

Banned on the Run: Alan goes jogging with athletes banned from competitive sport due to doping allegations. Theme tune by Wings, obviously..

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SPT

Post subject:

Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 7:08 pm

Cocker's trouser zip fiddler

Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2003 3:48 pm
Posts: 3758
Location: Sheffield

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Pukka Pie pest

Embrace the margin
Always Changing at Retford http://sptxx.tumblr.com/
Not Changing at Retford http://sptxx2.tumblr.com/

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pol pot noodle

Post subject:

Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 11:19 am

Kev's growler tester

Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2005 7:40 pm
Posts: 947
Location: rambo's shed

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matt611

Post subject:

Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 12:30 pm

Rock n Roll God

Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2005 12:36 pm
Posts: 1110
Location: 'norf London

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Bovine Juice

Post subject:

Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 12:45 pm

Drunken mustachioed lothario on stage

Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2003 2:52 pm
Posts: 14708
Location: Wild and devil-may-care on the last mobility scooter to hell... YEAH!!!!

Good list of Cooper one-liners here: though as it says most are not actually his jokes.

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matt611

Post subject:

Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 12:59 pm

Rock n Roll God

Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2005 12:36 pm
Posts: 1110
Location: 'norf London

Two-Ronnies line…

“The toilets were stolen from the local police station last night. Police say they’ve got nothing to go on”

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pol pot noodle

Post subject:

Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 1:28 pm

Kev's growler tester

Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2005 7:40 pm
Posts: 947
Location: rambo's shed

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Bovine Juice

Post subject:

Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 1:33 pm

Drunken mustachioed lothario on stage

Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2003 2:52 pm
Posts: 14708
Location: Wild and devil-may-care on the last mobility scooter to hell... YEAH!!!!

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Westie

Post subject:

Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 2:16 pm

Wurzel's moth felcher

Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2004 2:53 pm
Posts: 3254
Location: The East End of London

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Looks like Elijah Wood. Supports Liverpool. Likes Coldplay.

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matt611

Post subject:

Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 2:42 pm

Rock n Roll God

Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2005 12:36 pm
Posts: 1110
Location: 'norf London

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Bovine Juice

Post subject:

Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 3:02 pm

Drunken mustachioed lothario on stage

Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2003 2:52 pm
Posts: 14708
Location: Wild and devil-may-care on the last mobility scooter to hell... YEAH!!!!

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Honey

Post subject:

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:04 pm

Niles: I thought you liked my Maris!

Frasier: I do - from a distance. The same way you admire the sun. Maris is like the sun - just without the warmth.

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