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I think the knobber who should be kicked out is...
Poll ended at Thu Aug 07, 2003 1:58 pm
David Gray 7%  7%  [ 1 ]
Madonna 14%  14%  [ 2 ]
Craig Nicholls 14%  14%  [ 2 ]
Liam Gallagher 14%  14%  [ 2 ]
Damon Albarn 7%  7%  [ 1 ]
Meg White 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Sting 21%  21%  [ 3 ]
Phil Collins 21%  21%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 14
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 31, 2003 1:58 pm 
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Location: Wild and devil-may-care on the last mobility scooter to hell... YEAH!!!!
Alas, last week we lost the Arse of Dublin City, Bono. Who will go this week... you decide!


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 31, 2003 10:19 pm 
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Bovine Juice wrote:
Alas, last week we lost the Arse of Dublin City, Bono. Who will go this week... you decide!
wha?! me cant believe it. the messiah? out? or will he, like ol' jesus - or jon tickle - be coming back? will he confront Sting (where is thy death? thou art death!) in a biblical fight of good against vile, er, I mean bono against malo...but it'll probably end in mud wrestling between madge and meg...ok doctor i'm coming for my treatment... no i haven't got a shilling for the meter.... :shock:

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2003 12:51 pm 
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Right that's it, you people better get Madonna out of there! Then Gallagher and Nicholls please 8)


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2003 1:02 pm 
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ChrisWilson7 wrote:
Right that's it, you people better get Madonna out of there! Then Gallagher and Nicholls please 8)


She's a gapped toothed gimp who's greatest hits are the best part of 20 years ago. Her career's going as far south as her melons would without medical intervention. But she's not evil like Sting. Nicholls is a befuddled young man who's whacked out on Maccie Ds and weed. But he's not evil like Sting. Gallacher is a cocky twat. But he's not evil like Sting.

I'm not sure who else you should vote for though. :evil:


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2003 1:36 pm 
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Queen Madge is indeed evil, a vile purveyor of all that is hideous and crap in pop culture, and has been for 20 years. Her 'best songs' are still retch-worthy drivel, and her personal agenda of being the serious version of Cyndi Lauper is nearly as laughable as her acting. Vote the bitch off.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2003 2:40 pm 
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BoboDante wrote:
Queen Madge is indeed evil, a vile purveyor of all that is hideous and crap in pop culture, and has been for 20 years. Her 'best songs' are still retch-worthy drivel, and her personal agenda of being the serious version of Cyndi Lauper is nearly as laughable as her acting. Vote the bitch off.


But Material Girl is a cultural landmark so you must spare her for that. And she "acted" decently in Desperately Seeking Susan. And "Sex" had it's err, sexy moments, no?

By comparison, The Tantric Twat has written worthless embarassing pap (try "giant steps are what you take, walking on the moon/I hope my legs don't break...." and "there's no monopoly of common sense/either side of the pol-it-ical fence") while his acting is cringeworthy. Brimstone and Treacle, Dune, Stormy Monday all shit. And don't mention Quadrophenia as he's shit in that too as Arse-Face. He plays fecking jazz, ffs. He's an evil bastard and needs evicting, eviscerating, beheading and nailing down in a coffin with a stake through his withered genitalia. Vote the prick off!


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2003 3:59 pm 
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Johnny Anarchy wrote:
But Material Girl is a cultural landmark so you must spare her for that. And she "acted" decently in Desperately Seeking Susan. And "Sex" had it's err, sexy moments, no?

By comparison, The Tantric Twat has written worthless embarassing pap (try "giant steps are what you take, walking on the moon/I hope my legs don't break...." and "there's no monopoly of common sense/either side of the pol-it-ical fence") while his acting is cringeworthy. Brimstone and Treacle, Dune, Stormy Monday all shit. And don't mention Quadrophenia as he's shit in that too as Arse-Face. He plays fecking jazz, ffs. He's an evil bastard and needs evicting, eviscerating, beheading and nailing down in a coffin with a stake through his withered genitalia. Vote the prick off!


No, can't say I'll spare the Schizophrenia Gurl just because she "inspired" a generation of black knit shawl, upside-down cross necklace wearing troglodytes with no taste in music and then went on to transition from whore to holy hypocrite all in one decade. She's a cultural icon only because Rolling Stone and Gloria Steinem said she was. Wacko Jacko is a cultural icon, too... maybe madge should go live at the Neverland Ranch where she can "sing" about the horrors of being rich, famous and an icon to Bubbles, who would most certainly be a willing audience after all these years of putting up with the Gloved One.

The fact that she didn't utterly suck all the life force out of DSS (that is to say, she just didn't act at all so much as stand around looking "stylish," a blessing certainly) is no more than damned by faint praise (i.e., Charles Taylor didn't kill me, so he can't be bad). And "Sex" was an abysmal 90 minutes or so that I'll never have back, and the scars are still healing... it was bad music, even for a porn, and bad porn, even for a bloated, self-aggrandizing music video; most certainly the worst of all available worlds.

Sadly, I'd rather listen to ol' Gordon's misty-eyed, alcoholic-inducing, pseudo literary references and pompous philosophy lessons than Queen of the Hair Colorant Box's vacant idiocy masquerading as pop. Vote 'em both off... there must be a way to have a tie!


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2003 5:30 pm 
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Damn you, sir. For a moment you had me nodding in agreement until I realised that I cannot rest until the world is safe from Sting. Five minutes after he's dead, I'll have my ballet pumps on and be asking his serfs for directions to his grave.

Aren't you satisfied that Madonna's credibility is going down quicker than a Bangkok ladyboy? Swept Away! The wedding in the castle! The rapping on American Life! Her and Lord Snooty are well matched - both a pair of cocks. At least she showed her growler in that book. But she's still not bad enough to top S..... :wink:


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2003 5:53 pm 
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Shall we then agree to disagree that none shall pass? ;)

I'll not be satisfied 'til the occasionally blonde, always painful Queen of Pop passes on (crushed by her own ego, likely), is cremated and spread to the winds... the winds on bloody Jupiter, that is! Her American Life was an abomination to all that is good and holy in the music world; it was an abomination even to that which is vile and sickening!

As for Stung, has he even registered a blip in the last three or four years? I can't remember him even cropping up to be a spokesperson for even some pygmy tribe of cack eating monkey people lately... he seems to have faded away, at least here in the States.

From the brilliant keyboard of the fruity but tasty reviewer Mark Prindle:

I've been writing this review site for more than seven years....Yes, and in all that time I've heard some truly horrendous, unlistenable records - records that rate at the very bottom of a metric 1-10 scale. Your Metal Machine Music, your Y Kant Tori Read -- heck, on this page alone, Madonna has scored a couple of 1s. But in all my years of reviewing - from the beginning of the 20th century clear through to the end of the 21st -- I never expected to come across an album with such a volative mixture of uncreative melody, embarrassing production and offensive, moronic lyricism that it would physically bust through the bottom of my scale and force my wife to design a graphic for "ZERO." After all, how would one go about getting a ZERO on a scale of 1 to 10? Genius that she is, Madonna has figured it out!

Full review here, and frankly, it's funny, true and painfully obvious :D
I figured you of all people would enjoy this review, Johnny, as your taste in humor and music seems a bit like mine.

http://www.markprindle.com/madonnaa.htm#american


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2003 7:03 pm 
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BoboDante

:lol: Top stuff mate! Prindle is a funny guy - almost as good as Cartwright, and certainly more productive! :wink: Is there more of this or does he just have a pickle with Madge?

I can't help thinking she's not worth it though. It's bad, admittedly, but it's not evil-bad. Is it turn-off-the-radio-when-she-comes-on music or do you just let it wash over you? (I'm the latter apart from that shitty American Life track). And she's not in Courtney Love's crack-whore league for arsehole behaviour (she runs her close tho). No, I'm happy to see Madge the Vadge stay with us a little longer before we consign her to celebrity hell.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2003 8:01 pm 
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Oh Johnny, that site is loaded! Call me Bob, btw...

Just go to www.markprindle.com and there are reviews and interviews for loads and loads of bands, and loads that no one's ever heard of! He's based in NYC, so there is a bit of Stateside slant to who he reviews (just like there's a UK angle on soundsxp; nothing wrong with it either way, just fair warning).

His reviews go from incredible insight to madness in the span of a sentence. Occasionally it's just latenight, juvenile drivel, but most of the time it's top class stuff.

Excuse my ignorance, but who's Cartwright, btw? UK reviewer, or one of SoundsXP's reviewers that I just missed... or didn't notice the name.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2003 8:14 pm 
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BoboDante wrote:
Oh Johnny, that site is loaded! Call me Bob, btw...

Just go to www.markprindle.com and there are reviews and interviews for loads and loads of bands, and loads that no one's ever heard of! He's based in NYC, so there is a bit of Stateside slant to who he reviews (just like there's a UK angle on soundsxp; nothing wrong with it either way, just fair warning).

His reviews go from incredible insight to madness in the span of a sentence. Occasionally it's just latenight, juvenile drivel, but most of the time it's top class stuff.

Excuse my ignorance, but who's Cartwright, btw? UK reviewer, or one of SoundsXP's reviewers that I just missed... or didn't notice the name.


No. I'm going to call you Bobo, ruffle your hair and give you a shiny sixpence so you can go and buy licquorice twists at the corner shop, you little scamp. :wink:

Cartwright is - or was - the writer of the vented spleen column. He took out his hatred of the world on Sting, John Lydon, George Harrison....All great stuff from our renaissance man but then he moved to the Midlands and took up his poker and shit films hobby full time so we never hear from him. :cry: He's good though. If he had any Protestant work ethic, he'd conquer the world!

Looks like I've got some exploring to do!


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2003 9:08 pm 
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Bobo its is, then... now where's my money? :twisted:

Anyhoo, Cartwright was the Vented Spleen writer? Ah, nice. Shame about the film thing, as those are some of my favorite bits on the web!

Ah well, enjoy your exploring over there! I've been visiting for five years, and I still haven't read everything...


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 Post subject: this week's challenge
PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2003 9:30 pm 
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What this thing lacks is a weekly challenge to see how bad/good these gets do. Like, How to make a cup of tea? Can they do it without assistance? Liam orders a rider with tea and cocaine. But what would the others do?

Or, the amount of swearing they can do. Madonna will have a cunting mouth and no mistake but Elton? "Oh shut up you melodramatic queen". David Gray "Yes, I'm nodding at you." Oooh, how bad can it get?

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2003 10:54 am 
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Tony Tourette wrote:
What this thing lacks is a weekly challenge to see how bad/good these gets do. Like, How to make a cup of tea? Can they do it without assistance? Liam orders a rider with tea and cocaine. But what would the others do?

Or, the amount of swearing they can do. Madonna will have a cunting mouth and no mistake but Elton? "Oh shut up you melodramatic queen". David Gray "Yes, I'm nodding at you." Oooh, how bad can it get?


Who invited Elton in the house? He's not on my poll. Maybe he's just come round to borrow a cup of sugar and a squirt of KY. It's Craig Nicholls' task to make a balanced meal that doesn't involve fries, hamburger or onion rings.

btw, nice to see everyone loves Meg but Craig is far less offensive than that pompous music colonist Allbran, who steals every style going and vomits it up into his bland Blurpaste.


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