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I’m no psychologist, but here’s my translation…
Be everything as it may, this transcontinental, international cyclotouriste is navigating to locate a good companion (fuck buddy) for an extended bicycling tour (actual cycling optional). Good is defined as---female, healthy (big tits), cyclist, with a sense of bold adventure (kinky), and the willingness to be compatable (fuck regularly) on an extended world tour with yours truly.
Starting time is---not any time soon (as soon as you reply).
Route is---to be decided by those on tour---you and me.
Length of time is---to be decided.
I be ("I be"... thick as pig shit!) fifty-three, healthy (I have Viagra), six feet, 180 pounds, good looking but nothing to get all up in the air about (plain as fuck), blond receding hair (bald), green eyes, university grad., writer, teacher. Can work in exotic locations and have done so, easy to get along with (… aaah “Fuck you you goddamn son of a whore.”…???), adventurous (into anal sex), survivor (old, but into younger chicks), world traveller (Waster). Have bicycled thirty thousand miles through nineteen countries---USA, Canada, Mexico, western Europe, eastern Europe, former Soviet Union, China, south Korea. (Tried hitchhiking, but no one gave me a lift)
… & ye thought I was bad!
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Good Lord! Bet he doesn't use the pump to blow up his tyres! It's all quite frightening and hilarious at the same time... 
Who would have thought that cycling could be so rock and roll?!
