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 Post subject: Room 101
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 4:45 pm 
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Bola on the bongos
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Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 3:52 pm
Posts: 2148
Location: Camden
My 5 Room 101 items

People carriers/MPV's
Hate them, hate them, hate them, you can't park next to them cos they take up the next bay, they are invariably driven by people who have bought them to counteract their crap driving abilities, drive half on your side of the road and contain, at an absolute push, 1 and a half people. Also those stupid glorified pick up tricks, blatantly only owned by weekend warrior types / accountants from the city. Heard that liberals were toying with the idea of increased taxes for bigger cars, my vote decider.

Street survey people
More specifically those that overlook you. What, am I not good enough for you?

Foreign taxi drivers
Intent on raising my cleaning bill by ruining my underpants. I have genuinelly feared for my life in atleast 3 foreign taxis, in Sweden we had a Moroccan driver who couldn't speak any language other than Moroccan and who decided to reverse a bit of the motorway where we had missed a turning, I was jelly legged when I got out.

England flags during sporting tournaments
The most annoying type are the plastic flags in cars, normally put there by people who don't even know what colour we play in, or at best, will comment that Emile Heskey isn't that good in a manner like they have worked out the enigma code. Henmania - do sales of the Sun really slump that badly in the summer?

Beggars between cash-points
'Have you got any money mate?', I have never been bought up to lie but what can you do? Best retort ever was by a mate who said that technically the tramp was better off as he has just found out that he was overdrawn.

Sorry for the bitter rant, in a foul mood today, best to get something constructive out of it.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 5:35 pm 
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Drunken mustachioed lothario on stage
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Location: Wild and devil-may-care on the last mobility scooter to hell... YEAH!!!!
Chavs - Low life ill-mannered vermin with questionable taste and unfortunately a propensity to reproduce at a faster rate than the rest of us.

Sister Ray - Weel documented on here but have a dubious policy of hiding limited edition releases for a few months then charging ten times the price.

Tutters - You're walking along, realise you're on collision course with someone else, you both switch paths to attempt to avoid but switch into each other. Rather than smile, they tut as if it was your fault.

Cold egg - You're tucking into a salad and then some buffoon cuts up a boiled egg and throws it into the mix. Oh and fried egg and beans mixing together... *shudder*

FCUK - Now making a loss because the unfunny fcukers didn't realise their crass marketing campaign only appealed to morons and even they eventually got bored of the joke.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 9:34 pm 
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Chutney ferret with lazy eye
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Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2004 2:04 pm
Posts: 1563
Location: Middlesbrough
Here's my 5 -

1. Mobile phones
2. Religion
3. Morrissey
4. People who read the daily mail
5. New Labour

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2004 10:57 am 
*Supermarket plastic bags - can't open them at all - fingers run along edges to no avail - shopping piles up - customers tut...

*Queue jumpers and bus bargers - if I had a gun, I would.

*The Royal family - no explanation needed

*Westlife - no explanation needed

*Raw peanuts in shells.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2004 11:37 am 
I don't mind people carriers - they're a good way of transporting a four piece schmindie band with no cash and in safety* around the British Isles, although you will get broken into in some more...er provincial towns.

I like that some people hate UHT milk and religion with apparent equal venom! Anyway, here's my trivial five...

1.*Wakes up* Oh God I've got a stinking hangover. Oh God my back's gone, I can't move. Oh God I've shit the bed - all at the same time, obviously. C'mon I know you've all been there!
2.Shane
3.Nicky
4.Mark
5.Kian


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2004 12:08 pm 
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Chutney ferret with lazy eye
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Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2003 5:44 pm
Posts: 1501
Location: London Zoo
1. Frigging pull door handles on push doors. King of my pet hates! :x

2. Formulaic manufactured pop bands in all their forms. :roll:

3. People who block junctions with their car when the road they're driving on is backed up with traffic. Cheers for being an ignorant asshole! :roll:

4. Weak drinks - be it coffee with only 3 granules or piss weak beer or the like. :cry:

5. People who insist on telling you that you're doing something bad for your health when you're trying to enjoy yourself - yes I know fags are going to kill me, that fatty food is bad for my body and that alcohol is killing my brain but it's my fucking body and if I want to ruin it I bloody well will thank you very much. Piss off and state the bleeding obvious to somebody who gives a monkeys! :evil:

I could do a list as long as my arm but these are the 5 that imediately spring to mind!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2004 2:41 pm 
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cRaZy cat with the bongos
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Joined: Tue Jun 15, 2004 2:07 am
Posts: 742
Location: Otranto, Comune di Roccia Nera
Bono – In days gone by, Dublin was able to proudly boast Oscar Wilde and James Joyce as its greatest sons. Now they give Bono the freedom of the city. There is no finer example of declining cultural values that the excessive adoration heaped on this tone-deaf, embarrassing, inane, dad-dancing, stammering, do-gooding, bleeding hearted, style-free, aubergine mullet in petrol station shades.

Glaswegian holiday makers – During the annual Glasgow Fair fortnight, inner city dwellers, for whom the sight of salt water next to sand is the gleaming zenith of sophistication, arrive in their droves to the dreich Ayrshire coast. Their very presence forces up the price of practically all the local cultural delights: fish suppers, ice cream, beer, prostitutes, even crazy golf. Add to that their systematic littering, fouling of and fornication on the beach and their subsequent, brass-necked temerity in describing our picturesque stretch of coastland as “the shitty shore”. Go to Tenerife in future, you neds.

Charmin Toilet Paper Adverts – You know them; the ones where a cartoon bear approaches a tree with a bog roll in his paw and a newspaper under his arm. Especially disgusting when you’re eating your dinner. At least the Andrex puppy sweetly glosses over the vile reality that the product is all about wiping your arse.

Beach novels – A sparse plot spread ludicrously thinly through a block of paper whose thickness is rivalled only by that of its reader.

Popcorn – What sort of race are we that hands over hard earned money to receive a waste paper basketful of sodium encrusted polystyrene off-cuts with the aroma of a sumo wrestler’s jockstrap? And why is it utterly impossible for practically anybody to endure a Hollywood blockbuster without one?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2004 3:46 pm 
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Milchman's man milkmaid
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Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2003 6:47 pm
Posts: 1256
Location: Shepherds Bush
Fernando wrote:
In days gone by, Dublin was able to proudly boast... James Joyce.


*Ahem*


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2004 6:03 pm 
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Milchman's man milkmaid
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Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2004 5:47 pm
Posts: 1251
Location: London
Fernando wrote:
Charmin Toilet Paper Adverts – You know them; the ones where a cartoon bear approaches a tree with a bog roll in his paw and a newspaper under his arm.


It only struck me last week what they've done - ie 'does a bear shit in the woods?'
Was I being thick, or are others similarly clueless when it comes to picking up on things like that?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Nov 27, 2004 7:14 pm 
Most of my Room 101 things are other people...

1. People who litter- I once saw someone throw a bit of rubbish at a bin, if I was bigger than I am, or indeed, had a gun, I would've ripped his head off.

2. People who spit- Unless you've got some sort of bronchial disease I cannot see any reason to continually gob on the floor as you walk down the street.

3. People who don't take labels off their cds/videos/dvds- Why?

4. Men who sit on buses with their legs wide open as if to say "My cock's sooo big I have to have room to let it breathe through my tracksuit bottoms"- If you sit next to them and accidentally touch their legs with yours you are a gay.

5. Static electricity.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 11:07 pm 
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Cocker's trouser zip fiddler
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Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2003 5:18 pm
Posts: 3868
Location: Tralfamadore
Morrissey

Post Smiths of course. I wouldn’t really miss anything of Morrissey solo and I’d give a wide berth to the misanthrophic, sociopathic, little Englander personality he seems to have developed. Maybe Joyce and Rourke had a point…..

Glastonbury

Now some sort of rite of passage rather than musical gathering, it’s a chance for middle class students (check the ticket prices) to wear stupid jester’s hats and take cheap speed and come home thinking they’re real men. Glastonbury is a money spinning event for the organisers and the political trimmings are there as a sop. Same goes for Carling and V and all the other big ones. They’re a triumph of conservatism and should be avoided/ shut down.

Red Hot Chili Peppers

THE most overrated band of our times. Collectively they are a dire old funk/junk band. That they have decent musical taste (shown by their Mojo compilation CD) just proves the gulf between what they know and what they do.

Radio 1

Now that Peel’s gone, is there anything to justify its existence? Moyles, Colin and Edith, Zane Lowe (who doesn’t get that ‘new’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘good’)? Nope – shut it down! Same goes for XfM if they lose John Kennedy. In the words of the Clash, they’re “in tune with nothing”.

Celebrity

Watching a group of apparently famous people on some terrible Elton John tribute tonight, I realised the problem is “celebrities” – how can anyone believe that any of the fuckers (Bono, Sting, etc) have anything valid to say? They don’t. They have one talent (a dubious one at that) and at the same time they are thick as shite so they should shut the fuck up and play some tunes. As soon as a pop star gets the idea to spout off, he/she should be put down. Starve them of the oxygen of publicity, and if that doesn’t work, nuke their houses.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2004 10:12 am 
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Milchman's man milkmaid
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Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2004 5:47 pm
Posts: 1251
Location: London
Johnny Anarchy wrote:
Morrissey

Glastonbury

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Radio 1

Celebrity


Apart from Morrissey, I really couldn't agree with you more. Nightmare scenario;

Having to listen to The Red Hot Chilli Peppers playing live at Glastonbury on Radio 1. Presented by, I dunno, that bloke that wun Big Brother.

And let's put in graffiti. Little burberry cap wearing chav scum scratching illegible shite on bus windows. Trying to emulate New York. Little bastards.
At least in my day it was 'proper' graffiti, ie;
CFC run Villa
Gary luvs Michelle
Punk will never die
etc etc

There you go - 'old man' rant over.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2004 3:48 pm 
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Cocker's trouser zip fiddler
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Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2003 5:18 pm
Posts: 3868
Location: Tralfamadore
Chimes wrote:
Apart from Morrissey, I really couldn't agree with you more. Nightmare scenario;

Having to listen to The Red Hot Chilli Peppers playing live at Glastonbury on Radio 1. Presented by, I dunno, that bloke that wun Big Brother.

And let's put in graffiti. Little burberry cap wearing chav scum scratching illegible shite on bus windows. Trying to emulate New York. Little bastards.
At least in my day it was 'proper' graffiti, ie;
CFC run Villa
Gary luvs Michelle
Punk will never die
etc etc

There you go - 'old man' rant over.


Ha ha! I forgot Burberry! Don't know where you grew up but the only graffiti I ever saw was "suck my cock, it's blackpool rock". But then I grew up at the seaside so massive erections (of an architectural kind) and crabs were themes....


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2004 10:06 pm 
On a pedestrian bridge near where I live there is still, written in what looks like emulsion, the legend-

I LOVE THE UNDERTONES

By my reckoning that's been there for about 20 years now.

That's graffiti.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2004 10:18 pm 
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Drunken mustachioed lothario on stage
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Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2003 2:52 pm
Posts: 14708
Location: Wild and devil-may-care on the last mobility scooter to hell... YEAH!!!!
I'm back and erm I'm still angry!

Currently vexing me...

- People who put their feet on seats on public transport - even worse when it's getting busy and you know some poor sod is going to have to "be reasonable" with the obnoxious fuckers and politely request that they allow them to sit down...

- People who attempt to scrunch up an empty crisp packet and then place it in an ash tray... it then unfurls itself of course... Learn how to fold the packet into a neat ball or ask me, I virtually do it for a living! (No Monster Munch please).

- Eggs and beans... no I've said that one... Grrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Room 101
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2019 3:29 pm 
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Groupie

Joined: Wed Mar 27, 2019 12:20 am
Posts: 13
Don`t be angry. Just calm down. I know that it`s a stressful situation but You are a MAN). Let me know if you need a help


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 Post subject: Re: Room 101
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2019 4:22 pm 
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Groupie

Joined: Wed Apr 17, 2019 11:37 am
Posts: 11
Damn, how easy it was in childhood and how I now understand parents who came home from work and with a tired look but with a smile on their face greeted me. And I limply arranged scandals, littering, and the like. Thank God they brought me up with dignity. As I now learned, they used CBD https://premiumjane.com/topicals/2-oz-c ... oa-butter/ at that time to better focus on work. Their advice helps me a lot in my life as I now have children myself and I follow them very closely. Thank God they grow up decent and do not litter anywhere and peacefully, we can solve any problem.


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 Post subject: Re: Room 101
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 4:33 pm 
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Weasel tickler

Joined: Wed May 22, 2019 4:19 pm
Posts: 21
Thank you for useful information. I'm very interested.


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 Post subject: Re: Room 101
PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:48 am 
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Groupie

Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2019 12:38 am
Posts: 13
Hi everyone! Guys, wanted to ask, do you have some extra income and if you do, how do you get it? I decided that I need some more money and I am about to start trading cryptocurrencies with 3 Commas bot. Is it a good idea in your opinion?


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 Post subject: Re: Room 101
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2019 7:02 am 
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Toadsniffer

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Posts: 19
This is a well-thought of piece that made it easy for people to understand the whole point. Gainesville Towing West

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