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I have terrible news about Morph, the plasticine character from kids' TV in the 80s.

An article in today's Daily Telegraph relates how the original Morph was given to Prof Graham Collingridge, director of the MRC Centre for Synaptic Plasticity at Bristol, in order to be used as a mascot at an event on "similarities between Plasticine and the 'plasticity' of the brain" organised by the British Association of Psychologists. Unfortunately he left Morph in his car on a hot day and when he returned...sob...oh I can't say it...he'd...he'd...he'd melted!

And these bloody professors think they know it all.

Well at least it offers a new name for any indie band desperately searching for one- "Morph Dies in Hot Cars"....

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Chas and Morph had something of a fractious relationship. I wouldn't be too surprised if Chas had bunged this so-called "professor" (has he proof of his qualifications I wonder?) a bit of cash to ensure that he was negligent in his automobile-ventilation-related duties. I just hope that Chas does not have the nerve to show his face at the funeral (at which Morph will presumably be buried, as cremation would just make him more blobby).


Morph (left) and his back-stabbing 'friend' Chas in happier times.
Photograph: Lord Litchfield. Wardrobe: Stella McCartney

- I'm laughing so much it's hurting!!!!! - i've just noticed the Litchfield and Mcartney caption -

They were photogenic chaps. Look at Chas's smug/sly face though - look at the body language - Chas is 'holding' Morph down - you can almost hear him saying 'stay down you mug' and if you look really closely you can see the fear in Morph's eyes...no, it's making sense now - we don't need Angela Lansbury for this case - come on guys - the Professor's excuse - 'a mascot for the plasticity of the brain?' - what the?? You're onto something Muir - the professor is chas's agent - look at the revival that will come off the back of Morph's death now - the royalties, the two page spreads 'The secret years with morph...' the new spin-off serious 'Chas and clay...' No, don't let him get away with it Muir, take it to the top. Chas just couldn't kick his habit and in the end he stabbed his one true friend through the back to make a fast buck...

It's an open and shut case. Worth noting too that the photo demolishes the myth about ‘men with big hands’ as they both seem to have non-existent genitalia. Possibly this was Tony "The Creator" Hart's idea of guarding against sinful behaviour - or maybe he wanted his charges to be able to sing covers of songs by Muse and The Darkness to entertain him as did his paintings. Either way, it must have been frustrating for the pair and possibly explains why Chas was driven to a frenzy of murderous rage.

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